添い寝に応用できる睡眠のABC

When you became parents, you were surely told one way or another about the ABCs of sleep: the main 3 rules to follow for baby to sleep safely.

You won’t be surprised to read these involve sleeping in a separate crib and we’ll go into this deeper, but my question is: What does this mean for nighttime parenting, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping? Is a middle ground possible at all?

 

The ABCs of baby sleep

The first three letters of the alphabet refer to the main 3 principles you should (in theory!) absolutely follow to make sure you’re putting your baby down in a sleep environment that’s totally safe for him or her:

A - Alone: Baby should be put to bed alone and this rule should be followed during the whole night. No one can come squat baby’s bed and baby obviously isn’t allowed to join the big bed ;) 

B - Back: Always place baby on their back and make sure they stay in this position all night long. This is often mentioned as the main outcome of past studies on cases of SIDS and the old recommendation which today just seems insane (!!) to place your baby on their stomach.

C - Crib: Many (not all!) sleep experts are clear on the fact that baby should only sleep in a crib for their safety. Call it “crib”, “bassinet”, “baby bed”… You know it, it’s the typical baby bed we’ve all seen in movies and dreamed of adding to a cute nursery where baby would sleep all night. Except it didn’t really go as planned, right?

 

But what about nighttime breastfeeding?

If you’ve already started your breastfeeding journey, you know that sleep and breastfeeding are tightly connected both for you and for baby.

Ironically, our society has been trying to separate the two with various ideas like the famous “Eat-Play-Sleep”, but our bodies know the truth, our instincts kick in, and whether we want it or not, there is a natural feed-sleep association. 

Indeed babies naturally fall asleep and go back to sleep more easily (and faster!) when nursing to sleep. There are several biological reasons for this which I’ll discuss in another post but my point here is how to support this beautifully-engineered system. How can this work with baby sleeping alone in a crib?

Sure, you can wake up, leave your bed, stand up and go nurse your baby once they cry, but anyone who’s done this (raising my hand VERY high to show how long, too long, I did this!) knows how exhausting it is and that it isn’t a great way to support breastfeeding nor mom’s mental health.

But that’s not all: You’ve probably noticed that mom nursing baby to sleep also… nurses mom to sleep! Thanks to a relaxing hormonal cocktail, it makes us fall asleep in the strongest way I’ve ever experienced. That makes it extremely difficult to stay awake and can lead to risky situations like falling asleep on the chair you’re nursing in or co-sleeping unsafely.

Breastfeeding and sleep often feels like a dilemma to new moms. But I really don’t think it should be this way!

So where do we go from there? I can imagine that the ABCs of sleep are perhaps more achievable for babies who are fed formula (although they also show the same natural sleep challenges) but the separate crib seems like an terribly bad way to support breastfeeding. 

 

So does this mean you shouldn’t co-sleep?

Like I explained before, sleeping together with your baby is how nature designed us to sleep! Not only that, just think of all the animals you know and you’ll notice that all mammals sleep this way.

There are however ways to co-sleep so that this arrangement doesn’t cause additional risks to baby. The most obvious and commonly-used option that comes to mind is the “bedside crib” or “side bassinet”, basically a crib that attaches to your bed so that you can co-sleep, but not too closely ;) 

The bedside crib is a great solution to facilitate breastfeeding at night and sleep next to your baby without taking any of the risks associated with sharing the same sleep surface. There are other things to pay attention to though like the gap between your bed and baby’s bed. Making sure that baby sleeps on the back stays very important in this context. 

With this solution, baby doesn’t sleep alone but is alone in bed (that was the A), baby sleeps on the back (that’s the B), and is in a crib (that’s the C). I love it!

If only it worked for us…!

Keep reading about how to co-sleep safely or discover the breastfeeding pyjamas I’ve invented for better nights:  Pyjamam nursing sleepwear.

With love, Cora at the Pyjamam 💕
Creating the nursing PJs of my dreams & soon of your nights too!