Do you co-sleep with your baby? Or perhaps you're thinking about it but not sure whether that's the right decision for you?
When you left the hospital with your tiny newborn, you were probably recommended to have baby in the same room as yours especially if you breastfeed. But did you know there are different ways to share the same room as your little one?
Let's go through the main ways co-sleeping can look like and how you might want to arrange your sleep set-up. Before we start, I want to remind you of something I feel is often forgotten by new parents : No choice that you make for your baby's sleep now is going to be forever! OK, let's dive in.
What's co-sleeping?
Simply put, co-sleeping means sleeping in the company of somebody else. Many don’t realize that us humans, like other mammals and most definitely our primate cousins, have actually been co-sleeping for most of our existence!
It's only quite recently (less than two centuries ago) that the idea that babies should sleep independently started emerging in the West. And guess what? This still seems extremely strange to many parents from other cultures today!
One of the main reasons humans have been co-sleeping is for survival reasons. Yes, chances of staying safe and warm while sleeping are of course higher if you're not alone. Babies are born with these primal instincts and the fact that you've prepared a cozy room in a safe neighborhood is obviously unknown to them!
Another and important reason we often forget is that we're deeply social animals, meant to stay together in groups like tribes or families. All of us have a strong need for connection and researchers come to a solid understanding the importance of relationships in overall happiness.
What does co-sleeping look like?
A baby and a pare co-sleeping can be done in variety of ways depending on what sleeping arrangement you prefer. The main advantage and often the reason parents choose to co-sleep is that it makes managing night wakes much easier and facilitates responding and breastfeeding baby. The most common co-sleeping environments include the ones I’ve listed below.
Co-sleeping from further to closer to mom:
- Baby sleeping in a crib placed in the same room as mom
- Baby sleeping in a side bassinet placed besides mom's bed
- Baby sleeping in a nest on the parent's bed (often mistakenly assumed to be safer than bed-sharing since baby is in a separate space *)
- Mom and baby sleeping some of the night on a floor mattress
- Baby sleeping in the same bed as the parent(s) (should have previously been arranged for safe bed-sharing following all safety guidelines)
These setups are interesting to look at more closely and I’ll write a separate blog post about this. Floor beds for example are a great way to transition to more independent sleep when baby is ready. It’s been wonderful for us!
But referring to co-sleeping might also include risky scenarios which aren't happening in planned sleeping spaces like the ones listed above but usually rather and unfortunately, by mistake. That's the mom who falls asleep in her rocking chair while breastfeeding, the exhausted dad who ends up bringing baby in the parents' bed, the mom who falls asleep on the sofa with baby...
These are all risky situations for various reasons including suffocation, entrapment, risk of fall and many more which lead to SIDS or other types of death. In fact, most studies on the risk of SIDS when sharing the same sleep environment haven't been differentiating between the organized sleeping arrangements and risky situations of unplanned co-sleeping.
The most natural and also often the least recommended way to co-sleep in our Western societies is sleeping in the same
What's bed-sharing and what does it look like?
While co-sleeping refers to shared sleep in any sort of environment, bed-sharing specifically refers to sharing the same bed.
The most common bed-sharing environments include:
- Baby sleeping in a nest on the parent's bed (often mistakenly assumed to be safer than bed-sharing since baby is in a separate space *)
- Mom and baby sleeping some of the night on a floor mattress
- Baby sleeping in the same bed as the parent(s) (should have previously been arranged for safe bed-sharing following all safety guidelines
Because there are many risk factors to sleeping in the same bed as your baby, this practice is usually not recommended. However, these risks can be removed to create a safe sleep environment for your baby, exactly in the same way that a crib can be risky or carefully prepared for baby.
For info on safe bed-sharing, search for the Safe Sleep Seven which have been identified and are promoted by La Leche League.
I hope this helps you see a bit clearer between all the different options out there! And of course, all of these are much easier with the right breastfeeding pyjamas ;)
Interested? Click here to view Pyjamam nursing sleepwear.
With love, the Pyjamam 💕
Creating the nursing PJs of my dreams & soon of your nights too!
* More info on this in Two Risks of Bedsharing With A Baby Lounger